122413 Berkano

Today's nurturing includes the energy of others, whether you are nurturing them or receiving nourishment from them.  Deep breath, and you decide what feels best in each situation.

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Ah.  This one came as a big surprise to me.  This last year being difficult for many people, I have become accustomed to relying mostly on myself.  To not turning to anyone.  I have been practicing asking for help, but...   And, as I imagine is happening with many people, though things are slowly improving, this past week has been one of major upheaval.

I was having a break down (and trying to sing through it), when my person came in and gave me exactly what I needed, a hug.  Scarily, this nurturing did NOT stop the meltdown, it facilitated it and out poured all sorts of words, describing feelings I would never have thought I was having.

And I'll be honest.  I did start the break down with the thought, knowledge that I needed some outside assistance (cuz the rune said so), and I was working on feeling the spiritual support (when I wasn't singing angry woman music.)  Having the physical support was astounding and today I realize something.  (Here's the kick in the pants part of the nurturing...)

I've gotten a little too used to the difficult status quo.  My responses and patterns are still based on the protective posture I've been practicing.  Frankly, I'm still getting used to the idea that I have the right and responsibility to protect myself, to stand up for myself, to do for myself.

But now, things are improving.  And there are people I can turn to, and people I can let in.  Today is not yesterday, every moment is new, every situation is a death and a birth.  And if I don't want to be alone, then I need to put a window in the protective walls and see who's out there helping me.

So Thanks, Berkano, and person, for the support and the subsequent learning experience (yes, slight sarcasm).  Thanks for helping me reach one of the sore spots, thanks for helping see the positive side, eventually.  And "Thank you for the music" (Abba), especially the song "Piece of Sky" from Yentl.  

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Reading for 122713  FehuR, AnsazR

It may feel difficult today to get your ideas to flow into the productivity stage.  Two options:  change your focus (go AROUND the block), or chuck it for the day (go for coffee.)

I hope you have a great day!

-Lila