Today you may have something to celebrate. Do you wish to share with your clan? Or keep it close a little while longer?
Well, over the last few days (I think it's been 3?) I have had events, feelings about which to communicate. And some I did share with my vast clan (ie- Facebook); some I "shared" with my close clan. And some I shared with just my person.
Part of the decision, for me, over what to share, had to do with personal goals. Talking about things is good, because there is something purging about speaking things out loud. And sometimes, discussing things helps put it into a shape, a possibility, it cannot achieve inside my head. But talking about something also seems to diminish its impact on myself. I keep it's importance by keeping it a secret.
I also find I have jealousy or possession issues. I don't want to compare and contrast my feelings with another person... their feelings are just as valid as mine, but I want to feel unique and alone, sometimes, for a while. My feelings. My celebration. My trauma. Mine, mine, mine.
I've also found it is more and more difficult to describe the feelings. The usual words... happy, sad, excited, scared, driven... they are small words compared to what I feel. I now understand why some cultures reportedly have a thousand words for snow. I need a word for that calm moment of rejection when it's actually not only okay, but expected and I know it's the best thing for everyone concerned but I still feel a little sad but mostly I am greatly excited about the future.
So, yes, I have been on the fence about a lot of communication & communal celebrations these last few days. Have you?
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LIR 1714 Jera
Yay! More production from actions taken in the past! And also a reminder. Our actions today create harvest for the future.
I hope you have a great day!
-Lila
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