123013 DagazR

Today is a day to keep moving ahead, no judgements or analysis.  One step in front of the other, slow and steady, with a deep breath in between.  Make sure each step is finished before you move on, but don't stop to critique.

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Well, if I remember correctly, I failed to follow the guidance of this rune and thus was less productive than I could have been.

One of the things on my perpetual list of things to do is the Living Will.  Many things about lingering under the house arrest of medical care scare me, the least of which is the bills that could pile up.  Between the medical tv dramas and personal experience, I know that I believe, at least philosophically, against certain procedures and practices.  So, yes, a Living Will makes good sense.  At least I've put my two sense into my own care; I will make my choice known to the community around me.

But working on one's Living Will, especially with a guide like the Five Wishes (a pamphlet by Aging with Dignity), brings a lot of analysis.  Or at least contemplation.  

Much of the pamphlet makes statements you either keep or cross out.  Now, on one hand, the advice of DagazR was very approspo; just keep or cross as feels right and don't linger too long analyzing all the pros and cons.  It's a good way to get to know yourself.

But some of the statements offended my sense of, shrug, belief?  Daily Purpose?  Humanity?  Why is that at death, we suddenly wish to make everything right?  Force peace in our name?  Forgive when we couldn't in life?  This inner outrage led to some inner contemplation.  Then some outer discussion.  And of course, it being the end of the year, it also led to some soul searching.  Was there anything I wanted to "fix, correct, resolve"?  And if so, why hadn't I already fixed, corrected or resolved in accordance with my beliefs and personal truths?

So, that was the end of the slow and steady steps.

Maybe that's why I keep putting off working on my Living Will.  It's much more work than just writing down what I want.

One humorous moment, though.   One of the statements to keep or cross: "If I show signs of depression, nausea, shortness of breath, or hallucinations, I want my caregivers to do whatever they can to help me."  Like hallucinations is a bad thing?  I hope that by the time I reach the end of my life I'm able to manifest my "hallucinations" so everyone can see the spirits and guides and friends around me!  So there.   Will those caregivers help me with that?

Well, I guess that's why I need to pick the right ones now, hmm?

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1114 - Eihwaz in Air
You may be the person in the middle when it comes to communication or inspiration.  The trick (besides that deep breath)is to know what is needed, what is important for the truth of the moment; and what can (or must) wait for another day.

I hope you have a great day!
-Lila