LIR 7114 - PerthroR

Sometimes, it feels it would be easier to let someone else be responsible for your choices.

But you’re the one who will judge yourself tomorrow.

Your life.  Your truth. Your Choice.

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What I have discovered with this reading is that we are never free from outside influence.  Everything we do creates a ripple, and we are constanting living in the ripples created by ourselves and others.

For instance, I just realized I made a choice yesterday (to attend an event) based on something I read that resonated with my truths.  I also made a choice to add a gig to my fiverr jobs, based on a client's needs.  So actually, I totally ignored this advice.  Or, it wasn't actually applicable to me?  Cuz I was swimming in the ripples like a fish.

But this ripple effect, this universal influence does not remove responsibility from our shoulders.  We may not consciously choose the situations we are in, but we always choose our actions.

Wait.  Do we ALWAYS choose?  There are many situations we cannot guarantee our behavior, whatever we hope it might be, because there is no training for that life or death, flight or fight reaction.  If i am startled, I jump.  If a bug bites me, I swat.  And that can very much be outside influences affecting our choices.  If instinctive behavior even qualifies as a choice.

What we do when we are cognizant, however, is the choice.  Do we train ourselves out of the behavior we dislike?  Like learning to calmly put the fire out instead of running around screaming?

Do we accept our actions and face the consequences?  Like apologizing for accidently knocking over the red syrup onto the white floor.  And offering to clean it.

And most importantly, are we able to do this with the open-minded truth and acceptance we would use for others?  If you would say, "Oh, no, that's okay" to someone else, you most certainly can say it to yourself.

Do I revoke my RSVP or take down the gig?  Just because I realized it was an outside influence?  Well, no, because those things still resonate with my truth.  And with my wants.  I still choose to do so, not because I was influenced, but because it makes me happy.

For me, this reading becomes about judgement.  It is automatic.  Perhaps it is a survival instinct.  And it certainly influences the behavior that follows.  But it's what we do after the instinctive reaction; what we do with the analysis and information; what we CHOOSE that is the important facet of every ripple we create.

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LIR 7214 - Wunjo

Remember those parties, those celebrations with all your clan about you?  What made it a party?  What makes them family?

I hope you have a great day!

-Lila

LIR 62214 - PerthroR

Look. It’s not about the outside influences. It’s not about what others want or think is right. It’s not even about fate, destiny, or what “should” be.

It’s about what we want. It’s about what makes us happy. Each, individually, uniquely happy.

So. What do you WANT?

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Yes, at first, this reading does (did?) seem like a continuation of the last posted reading, about taking time to decide what really works.  Weighing influences, in a fashion.  And I thought, "Okay.  Today I walk into the world with my head held high and my goals in sight and I will not let anyone sway me from my path."

Except.

Except.

What about when i want to be swayed?  When I want to be influenced?  When I want to stop for a few minutes and hang out with friends?  What if being under the influence of friends or family is what I WANT?

Ah, I realize as I sit here.  But that's still my choice.  My influence.  My responsibility and my decision.  It's like answering the body's need for calories.  I get to choose what form the calories take.  I even get to choose, to some extent, when I partake of those calories.  I find a balance.  I do not (anymore) eat the whole pint of ice cream just because the first half of the carton tasted so good.

Oh yes.  I do want to sit with friends in a bar all afternoon and talk.  Or sit on the couch and watch a marathon of Lost Girl or Elementary or Agents of Shield.  But, I also want to do that indulging with a happy heart.  With all of my brain.  With the knowledge I am working with myself, not in spite of myself.

So it's really not about the outside influences.  It's about the inside ones.  My responsibility.  My choice.  My WANT.  And my need.  Feeding my body, resting myself when it's time.  And getting up and working some more when it's time.  Stepping forward and trying to fulfill what I want when it's time.

Because that time is now.

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LIR 62314 - Isa

Today is a good day to isolate yourself a little, to stand apart, to shield from other people, outside influences, habits of the past.

I hope you have a great day!
-Lila

Life in Runes March 2014 PerthroR

Ias written for Spirit Wise newsletter)

The rune for March is PerthroR.

Perthro itself indicates the influence of outside forces, the Hand of Fate, the effects of chance.   Perthro Reversed, however,  says, it's all up to you.  You hold the responsibility to put your dreams into actions; you have the ability to design the foundations; you make the hard and the easy choices.

Does this mean it's going to be a lot of work?  Yes.  Will it be worth it?  Yes. 

Being responsible doesn't mean you have to do everything alone.  You are the manager, the boss, the captain, the president.  You can ask for help, even ideas and suggestions.  But no matter how skilled the help, the final decisions and the final responsibility must be yours.  Because it is your dream that's coming alive, no one else's.

PerthroR, the energy of others denied.  We need look no further than our own hands, our own strength of will, our own mind, to set our goals in motion.  Our way.

I hope you have a great month!

-Lila

12413 - ThurisazR

You may fear your shields are down.  Just pay attention; you will be fine.

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Blech.

And hello, after, what? 3, 4 days?

Physically,  my shields were down.  I was virally attacked and I did not enjoy it at all.

In the past, having a cold was a cue to take some down time.  And guilt played a big part of the vicious cycle which went something like this.

I start feeling tired.  I don't want to do things.  But, work ethic and guilt and "good girl" syndrome kick in and start yelling at me, so I go do things.  Then I do get sick.  But is it really sick enough to take the day off?  To not go to school or work?  To lounge around in bed all day and sleep?  (oh wonderful sleep?)  Is it sick enough to eat bland things and drink wimpy teas?  Or am I just being lazy?  Do I just want a day without responsibility?  Guilt, exhaustion, guilt, exhaustion.  Until I finally do call in sick, because doing that was less fearful than being ill at school or work.

Of course, in grade school, I had an adult to make the decision for me.  And as an adult, I followed the rules of "if you're sick enough to stay home from work, you're sick enough to stay home from everything else."  (this actually backfired once.)  There was also the idea, once I got into the workplace, that it's better to go in sick and be sent home, then to call in sick.  "Because at least they can see you've tried."

Today, all of that game playing seems another kind of releasing of responsibility.  THEY get to tell us when we're sick enough to stay home.  THEY get to say working at a sub par speed for five days is better than taking one day off and working up to speed for the other four.  Maybe we all prefer to be victims, martyrs, submissive to THEY.

And yes, it's very easy for me to be philosophical about it in my position -- my clients are flexible, and if I don't accomplish my other responsibilities, I don't lose income or have to worry about feeding my children.

But from my perspective, it all comes down to this today.  (Or it still comes down to this.)  What is right for me?  For my body?  For my happiness?  Because I agonized for hours, even while bowed before the porcelain throne, whether to go to a client the next day.  Surely I would be better.  Surely it was more responsible to drag myself out into public, possibly infecting others, make myself do something because, hey, I wasn't really sick, I was just being lazy, right?  And looking back now, that just seems horribly terribly wrong. 

When I am healthy (and happy) I do the bookkeeping and the runes and the other things because I want to.  If I didn't want to, I wouldn't do it.  So, Lila, it's time to take even more responsibility.  When you're sick, which is difficult to admit in the first place, you'll heal much faster if you pay attention and focus on healing the problem, then if you play with guilt.

Of course, this also all ties into the mind over matter body issues; chemical versus emotional also plays into health versus illness.  So much to practice.  To stand up to.  To stand up for.

Speaking of, I don't expect I'll actually be doing a rune reading today.  I don't quite have the focus I'd like.  But I hope to read tomorrow and thus post on Monday.  We'll see what the body allows.

I hope you're having a great (and healthy!) day.

-Lila