My Life in Runes - UrazR

I sometimes pull runes for myself. It only makes sense, right? Though I have learned we often forget to do what would really help in a stressful time. Especially if we're focused on how we "should" do it for others.

Regardless, I am practicing.

Today I pulled a rune for myself. (I am at the International Threshold Choir Gathering.) And I received UrazR.

Of course, reading for oneself can be tricky. Many of us tend to be much more stern with ourselves than with others. And of course, if the rune has any form of a negative connotation, the mind (or whatever implant that runs the OMG machine) starts listing them. All.

I maintained my practice, I am happy to say. I asked myself, what would UrazR mean today if I were reading it for someone else? It could be "Something may not feed you". Or perhaps a question. "Do you have a foundation? Is something missing a foundation?"

I have really gotten to know my chest voice on this trip. And my writing voice (I'm still looking for my hair.) So of course, as I'm belting out songs in the "Sing Your Prayers" workshop (finally got my gospel fix!) I wondered, should I be playing with my high voice? Maybe I'm not supposed to be singing so low (cuz yeah, my voice can get into the foundations. Yay!) So, happiness being achieved, the answer to that was no.

Turned out, it meant don't go to a specific workshop.

I had other signs. I thought, maybe I need to take a break. When I saw the facilitator, I was not drawn to her. And when she described the class, I thought, oh. Hmm.

But, I was nervous about going to this one because it involved my personal creativity. And further, growing my creativity. And even further, putting my creativity out there. In front of women who can create five part harmony on the spot. Oh, glory! So, I read the soft nos as an extension of the anxiety.

But it wasn't the workshop I wanted. There were displays of creativity, but no budding potential brought into bloom. Not what I was craving! I did sing my song, after babbling through an introduction, because I was so anxious. I knew if I didn't sing, I would go three shades of frustration at myself. After all, I was there.

But it wasn't worth the singing. I swear, this time, unlike book signings, the bout of anxiety was not worth it at all. I can't say there was no connection. Because they tried. But, there was no food for my well.

Happily, I listened to myself later, and was fed with laughter, and companionship. I had the table of sunshine. People joined me. So, yes. I totally missed the small moment the rune was discussing, in my watchfulness for the big moment. But oh, the joy I found when I tried again.

I actually do need to work on my singing foundation, though. My throat has just informed me, my support needs a LOT of work. But I'll probably still think that belting was worth it, even tomorrow.

I hope you have a great day!

-Lila

LIR 32615 - Uraz

Whatever the situation, project, relationship, question, look at the foundation. 
Is it feeding you?

Are you receiving energy and excitement just from being in or near the situation, doing the project? 
Does it drive you as much as your hard work and passion drive it?

If the answer is yes, it's probably worth pursuing, keeping, sticking with, hanging around.


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Okay - this never even came up in thought... too busy doing so much today!

But I would venture to say that means I have answered the question for myself. If I ever doubt my desire to write, read, sing, couch, hold space for the truth and beauty of individuals everywhere, today certainly showed they are all feeding me.

I'm rather excited to see what's going to be built upon this foundation!

I hope you have a great day!
-Lila

LIR 72714 - Uraz

what do you consider to be your earthly foundations? 
What, who is really supporting you financially, healthily?

And what, who are you supporting? Healthily?

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I think for me, yesterday was about food.

A long-time friend and I went out to eat and she paid for the meal.  And we actually talked about the psychology of eating.  Later, my husband and I together cooked a simple yet satisfactory meal.  Later that evening, I tried to find something to satisfy that craving, that balance between sweet and salt.

And of course tried to answer that elusive question, am I really hungry?  What void am I trying to fill with food?

When it comes to food, there is a balance.  In fact, I think there may be a lot more going on than we allow ourselves to realize.  Beyond the comfort food and the filling of the void.  There are the nutrients, the vitamins, the load of salt and chemicals which we pop into our bodies without awareness.

Why do we have cravings?  Why do we try for balance?  Why does something taste good and help the happy feeling on one day, and doesn't on another?  Am I eating to provide ourselves with energy, or for something else?  Are my food choices to support mental health, physical health, or an addiction, possibly a habit?

And eating habits or physical attributes can be as touchy a subject as race or religion.  "Are you calling me fat?"  But, I am fat.  Or am I chubby?  Comfortable?

Which means, for me, all these adjectives are meaningless.  What is my truth?  What is important?  What is the foundation of all this questioning and consuming?

Am I happy?

Does this food make me happy?  Both when consuming, and hours later.  And days later?

Does this food make me, and my body - my earthly foundation - happy?

Something for me to think about, to bring into awareness, every day.

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LIR 72814 - OthilaR far off the mat

Deep, deep down is the hope or fear that some genetic gift passed you by.

Stand tall. You are not your ancestors; your choices are your own.

And your today is your choice.

I hope you have a great day!
-Lila

LIR 71814 - Dagaz, Uraz, Ehwaz, Othila, Fehu

A little more time, a little more thought. Firm your foundations, ride the emotional wave, accept your gifts & open your arms wide. Your dreams are coming!

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i just have to say - five minutes after I cast this, just finished typing up the interpretation, and a company called.  They had already filled the position I had applied for, and wondered if I were interested in a different position.  

I don't know if I would have grabbed it anyway, but with this reading firmly in hand, I said no thank you.  I'm holding out for what I want!

It'll be interesting to see what the rest of the day brings.

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5 days later...  well, 5 is a good number.  A restful number.

I find it interesting which parts of a reading I latch onto.  Often it's the fearful parts I have to over come.  Like that little time rune, down in the lower right corner.  Part of me wants to scream, "HOW MUCH TIME?!"  So there have been days when I have simply been riding the whirlwind.  Or, to be more accurate, I have simply been being me, while the whirl wind flows around.

Have I firmed my foundations?  Well, I definitely confirmed I have no desire to stay in a retail job, no matter how awesome the people.  And, in my job search, I have realized also that transit time is not necessarily what I want right now.  Though, I leave that up in the air a little more than others, because it could be good to get my behind out of the house.

But is that my real foundation?  I am very comfortable in the house, but do I get any work done if there is no outside impetuous?

And is that important?

Right.

So.

Foundation -  More of a honing, than an expanding.
Time - both relaxing and stressful.
Arms open wide to accept gifts?  Hmm.  Let's see what today brings.

I mean yes!  Yes!  I accept.  *G*

Really, if I pay attention to what I, myself, my body and my happiness meter are telling me, I can separate the hobbies from the work which feeds me.  So once more, accepting my gifts means also accepting how I want to use those gifts.  Or not, as the case may be.  Which means, again and always, accepting myself.

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LIR 72314 - Jera

How do you know your hard work will pay off?

Look where you are now! Only you could have made the choices which led to this harvest, these rewards.

It only gets richer, fuller, happier from here.

I hope you have a great day!
-Lila

LIR 22214 Hagalaz & UrazR

Old foundations, old rules, crumple under your new truths.  As the truths fulfill your happiness, it's time to create a new foundation.

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The foundation that seems most crumpled for me is that of the routine.

A routine helps, in my mind.  It helps establish a pattern to follow.  It helps make some decisions about who what when and where.  One often unconsciously develops a routine, at work, at home, when the same things need to be done over and over again.

In the last 24 hours, the routine seemed to be what I was focusing on.

As a work at home person, the routine has been most difficult to establish.  Especially when, spiritually, one is often advised to go with the flow.  But, I want to get things done.  If I worked outside of the home, I would have a routine of before work and into work and at work and after work activities.  Some would be flexible, like eating times and whether I really want to put on make up for work.  And others would not be flexible.  Like the time I show up for work.

So, my new foundation seems to be basing itself on establishing a work schedule.  I was late today.  Which means some things will be rescheduled (going with the flow.)  But others will need to be done, which means I'll be working late.

Just like everyone else who takes their job seriously.

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LIR 22314 - BerkanoR

It may feel like there's a lack of nurturing today.  Is it a push to keep you moving & working?  Or is it a request for more self-care?  Your truth, your choice.

I hope you have a great day!
-Lila

101713 - Naihwaz in water; Uraz in Spirit

Ride out the emotional storm holding firmly to your ideals.  Others may be looking to you for guidance.  Truth to self is the only tool you need.

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Hello to you!

Yes.  Today was a storm of emotions.  As I went through the day, I wondered how many of you were going through the same "make it stop!" roller coaster.  Even the movie we watched, "The Croods", took me through an emotional roller coaster.  May it be blessed.

I forgot the part of being true to self.

I did remember the part about others looking to "you" (and thus me) for guidance.  It didn't exactly help, for when I become this emotionally mazed, I'd rather be locked away where I can't hurt anyone.  And where anyone else cannot add to the turmoil.  But, Uraz is foundation.  Uraz is strength.  So, I let myself be, I kept moving forward, and I even tried sharing some of my tools.

My current favorite, when I feel the want to hit someone, is to actually hit something.  I beat the couch with a thick swimming noodle.  The first time I did it, I was shocked by the physical & auditory outpouring.  (I may have written about it in here already.)  These days, I use the couch technique to help pull out the emotion,  so it doesn't sit in my shoulders and stomach and neck.  I usually scream when beating the couch, also.  Like the word expelled with moves in martial arts, only much less focused and more Banshee.

It is also satisfying to dismantle a box of glass with a mace, but that is not a technique I would share with young persons, nor, since one should do it outside, is it as conducive to screams of rage.

I planned to have "anger management" time today, and share this technique.  And when the time came, all I wanted to do was pretend I hadn't talked about it.  I was sure they would prefer I forgot also.  But, because of the Uraz rune (bless you very much also) I did it.  I told them about it, offered each one a noodle, and then I yelled and beat the couch.  And yes, that was very hard for me, to do it in front of others.

That seemed to be the theme for the day.  To experience the feelings, to allow others to see what was experiencing, so they could see me work through it.  "Be an example," was my mantra for the day.  

I am grateful to know this emotional trip is almost over.  While I believe in myself, one of my truths has to do with enjoying the moments.  And the moments today were all necessary, all small steps to fulfilling goals, but, perspectively, I'm not sure I would have chosen to put them all in one day!  Ah well.  Learning learning learning.  And finding out more about what I want to do and what I really don't want to do.

So, that was my day, in a cryptic nutshell.  The runes were spot on, and provided guidance, though I can't say much for the support.  Knowing tomorrow is better just means I learned from today.  It doesn't mean the roller coaster stops.

And, being true to myself, I need to negate that sentence with this one.  The roller coaste may not stop.  Life is life after all.  But the truth of ourselves IS all the tool we need.  Because that is how we look back on the day, pat ourselves on the back, and are satisfied that we did our very best.  Tomorrow is better because of all the work we did today.

So.  I hope you had a great day.  And I hope tomorrow is even better!

-Lila

PS - there will be no posted rune reading for the 18th, as it is the full moon.  *G*