Ride out the emotional storm holding firmly to your ideals. Others may be looking to you for guidance. Truth to self is the only tool you need.
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Hello to you!
Yes. Today was a storm of emotions. As I went through the day, I wondered how many of you were going through the same "make it stop!" roller coaster. Even the movie we watched, "The Croods", took me through an emotional roller coaster. May it be blessed.
I forgot the part of being true to self.
I did remember the part about others looking to "you" (and thus me) for guidance. It didn't exactly help, for when I become this emotionally mazed, I'd rather be locked away where I can't hurt anyone. And where anyone else cannot add to the turmoil. But, Uraz is foundation. Uraz is strength. So, I let myself be, I kept moving forward, and I even tried sharing some of my tools.
My current favorite, when I feel the want to hit someone, is to actually hit something. I beat the couch with a thick swimming noodle. The first time I did it, I was shocked by the physical & auditory outpouring. (I may have written about it in here already.) These days, I use the couch technique to help pull out the emotion, so it doesn't sit in my shoulders and stomach and neck. I usually scream when beating the couch, also. Like the word expelled with moves in martial arts, only much less focused and more Banshee.
It is also satisfying to dismantle a box of glass with a mace, but that is not a technique I would share with young persons, nor, since one should do it outside, is it as conducive to screams of rage.
I planned to have "anger management" time today, and share this technique. And when the time came, all I wanted to do was pretend I hadn't talked about it. I was sure they would prefer I forgot also. But, because of the Uraz rune (bless you very much also) I did it. I told them about it, offered each one a noodle, and then I yelled and beat the couch. And yes, that was very hard for me, to do it in front of others.
That seemed to be the theme for the day. To experience the feelings, to allow others to see what was experiencing, so they could see me work through it. "Be an example," was my mantra for the day.
I am grateful to know this emotional trip is almost over. While I believe in myself, one of my truths has to do with enjoying the moments. And the moments today were all necessary, all small steps to fulfilling goals, but, perspectively, I'm not sure I would have chosen to put them all in one day! Ah well. Learning learning learning. And finding out more about what I want to do and what I really don't want to do.
So, that was my day, in a cryptic nutshell. The runes were spot on, and provided guidance, though I can't say much for the support. Knowing tomorrow is better just means I learned from today. It doesn't mean the roller coaster stops.
And, being true to myself, I need to negate that sentence with this one. The roller coaste may not stop. Life is life after all. But the truth of ourselves IS all the tool we need. Because that is how we look back on the day, pat ourselves on the back, and are satisfied that we did our very best. Tomorrow is better because of all the work we did today.
So. I hope you had a great day. And I hope tomorrow is even better!
-Lila
PS - there will be no posted rune reading for the 18th, as it is the full moon. *G*
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