LIR 63014 - Eihwaz

Today is about balance. What worlds, realities, needs are you balancing? Is it working?

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As seems to be normal for this year, another issue has been - well, maybe not yet resolved  - defined.  Defined is a good word.  I know the reason why my singing range is not what it used to be.

And, as seems normal for this year, the definition needed some absorption time.  So, I turned to my old coping methods.

Well, to be more precise, I knew what my old coping methods were - which ones I really wanted to use - and modified them.  So my balance yesterday was between fulfilling the comfort need of the moment and being happy the next day.  One could say the worlds I balanced were present and future; or even past, present and future (since the comforting technique I was changing was a learned behavior of the past).  

I also did some work before I allowed myself time to absorb.  Not only because I had readings that needed to be posted, but also because it followed my current thought pattern.  I am a writer, yes?  So, let's actually write about what we're thinking!  (You will find this post on the meanderings page.)  So, I balanced another set of needs - the need to keep going with my work, which is a huge pressing need; and the need to stop and regain my equilibrium (which in itself is another balance).

The final world, reality, perhaps perception I balanced (and am still balancing) is the one between good and bad - terms I have grown out of.  I prefer happy and unhappy, really.  And while it was tempting to make a huge dramatic story out of the issue, to explain why it impacted me, the truth (my truth) is that there are positives and negatives, depending on the day and my perceptions of self and the truths I am clinging to.  A limited vocal range is traumatic news, because it shows that what I can do and what I expect to do are on different wave lengths.  But trauma just means change, adjustment, adaptation.  And the positive is, at least for this moment, the reason I can't sing that song has everything to do with the instrument and little to do with the player.

So, I have a whole new world to explore - and a new balance to achieve, between what I have and what I want to do with it.  And, I did often envy the altos...

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LIR 7114 - PerthroR

Sometimes, it feels it would be easier to let someone else be responsible for your choices.
But you’re the one who will judge yourself tomorrow.
Your life.
Your truth.
Your Choice.

I hope you have a great day!
-Lila