Double check your information, especially in the financial or physical area.
And yes, once more, no coddling.
Together, this means, don't push yourself beyond your limits. Listen to your body. Can you do more with ease and competence?
***************
Yeah. That was a little convoluted.
Trying to cover all the bases for all the people, I imagine.
Well, for me, the communication issues yesterday were extremely convoluted.
It started with an unexpected outburst. I said something forceful to someone else, and sent myself into a journey of self exploration. Yippee, she says softly and with little enthusiasm.
I do not have a history of speaking forcefully, so once I recovered from my shock and amazement, and processed the reaction of the person I'd been speaking to, my impulse was to go apologize.
I didn't.
In the first place, I had no idea why I snapped. (Still don't.) So making an apology was meaningless. Insincere. It would only be a "oh, don't hate me!"
I replayed and replayed the incident (except for the actual words, which I can no longer remember.) And every rewording or long drawn out, carefully explained non-apology sounded, well, weak. Wrong. Devaluing. The only relevant apology would be for being myself. And, as I accept myself, there is no need to apologize.
Eventually, I came around to this conclusion. I have to trust myself. I have to honor myself. I go on and on about speaking from our truths. What if what I said, or the way I said it, was something that needed to be said or done? From my truth and for hers? What if what I said was the kindest, or most healing, thing that could be said?
I knew the best thing for me to do was to meditate. Settle myself down. Look in deep and make sure I was moving froward from a, well, "happy" place, and not a grudging one.
Instead, I wallowed, a martyr to trauma. I ate chocolate and watched videos until late in the night. Perhaps punishing myself with unwanted calories. Shrug. Perhaps deliberately not doing what I needed. Or perhaps my brain thought it had had enough trauma for one day and feared the self introspection of meditation. Silly brain.
So, I coddled myself instead of healed and soothed, due to an interesting, still not quite understood communication. And even know I haven't meditated. I have done a long of busy work, cleaned up & sorted. But the spiritual has taken a back road.
Interestingly enough, the internet went down also yesterday. Talk about communication issues.
There was no reading today (see the busy work paragraph) and tomorrow is the full moon. But I'll be back in touch with you soon.
I hope you have a great day!
-Lila
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