LIR 2015 - Aries: AnsazR

If you're like me, some of your projects, dreams, plans depend upon others. Whether it's promoters or clients or money lenders; or your muse, your focus group, your idea man. There is a time when the project needs to have input from someone outside of our own heads.

Well, AnsazR is telling us this sun cycle (March 21 to April 21) is not going to be full of information.

What does that mean for our forward momentum? That is up to each of us to decide.

Does the growth of the project require that outside information? More inspiration? Another person's input? A decision about a loan or a workshop to move your certification forward?

Or can you continue, building, adding, fleshing out, organizing, fixing the back log? Can you pour energy in while you're waiting?

It's your truth. And that truth may differ from day to day, as spring come in and the fires of determination get bogged down by the sheer desire to do everything at once.

Do you pause that project? Or do you continue your part in it?

It seems a simple reading for the coming month. After all, indications are that the dizzying downloads, upgrades,  transitions, and occasional bouts of confusion are going to stop. Soon we will be solidly planted. I hope.

But, as we all know, after the storm there is the clean up. The finding your footing. The taking a look around and seeing what we're really left with. And what new thing has arrived.

So when you get to that moment of utter frustration, wishing he, she, or it would just answer your call!, step back. Take a moment. Smooth your hair back down, and evaluate the project. Does it need outside information before you can do the next step? Does it really?

So be it. Move on.

I hope you have a great month.

-Lila

122713 FehuR, AnsazR

It may feel difficult today to get your ideas to flow into the productivity stage.  Two 
options:  change your focus (go AROUND the block), or chuck it for the day (go for coffee.)

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And so we see how pride goeth before a humble admission of being just like everyone else.

Ansaz is a communication stone, and it may not be evident in the post above, but in my head yesterday's reading was about communication.  Maybe it was so just for me.  Anyway.  I found it amusing because, well, I consider the posting of the rune readings to be communication.  Just reading the runes is communication.  So, I'm posting that the ideas (interpretation of the rune) may have difficulty getting to the productivity stage (actual posting of said interpretation.)  Nya nya, not for me.  Lalalalalalalala.

(Side note - I pulled an Ogham card yesterday which spoke of free expression.  Share your ideas!  Ha!  Ogham trumps Rune.)

So I did my rune readings, I sent some emails, I sang some, I talked to my person.  Very very productive day.  Except.

Except.

One of my goals yesterday was to get to the personal bookkeeping, and part of the bookkeeping means going through the emails to check for bills and payments, etc.  And I knew there was an email in that category I really needed to answer (or at least acknowledge.)

Every time I sat down, something else popped up.  I tried 3 or 4 times.  And finally, at the end of the day, I realized this was my production block.  Each different approach had failed.  So, I raised my eyebrows at my computer, and did the equivalent of going out for coffee.

I really do hope I get to them today.

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122813 Ehwaz

Transformation does not mean everything must change; nor must all be lost.  Comfortable habits from the past can facilitate relationships in the future.

I hope you  have a great day!

121513 BerkanoR, AnsazR

Double check your information, especially in the financial or physical area.

And yes, once more, no coddling.  

Together, this means, don't push yourself beyond your limits.  Listen to your body.  Can you do more with ease and competence?

***************

Yeah.  That was a little convoluted.

Trying to cover all the bases for all the people, I imagine.

Well, for me, the communication issues yesterday were extremely convoluted.

It started with an unexpected outburst.  I said something forceful to someone else, and sent myself into a journey of self exploration.  Yippee, she says softly and with little enthusiasm.

I do not have a history of speaking forcefully, so once I recovered from my shock and amazement, and processed the reaction of the person I'd been speaking to, my impulse was to go apologize.

I didn't.

In the first place, I had no idea why I snapped.  (Still don't.)  So making an apology was meaningless.  Insincere.  It would only be a "oh, don't hate me!"

I replayed and replayed the incident (except for the actual words, which I can no longer remember.)  And every rewording or long drawn out, carefully explained non-apology sounded, well, weak.  Wrong.  Devaluing.  The only relevant apology would be for being myself.  And, as I accept myself, there is no need to apologize.

Eventually, I came around to this conclusion.  I have to trust myself.  I have to honor myself.  I go on and on about speaking from our truths.  What if what I said, or the way I said it, was something that needed to be said or done?  From my truth and for hers?   What if what I said was the kindest, or most healing, thing that could be said?

So.  This left me with an interesting emotional cloud to wallow in.  Who knew NOT apologizing took such strength?

I knew the best thing for me to do was to meditate.  Settle myself down.  Look in deep and make sure I was moving froward from a, well, "happy" place, and not a grudging one.

Instead, I wallowed, a martyr to trauma.  I ate chocolate and watched videos until late in the night.  Perhaps punishing myself with unwanted calories.  Shrug.  Perhaps deliberately not doing what I needed.  Or perhaps my brain thought it had had enough trauma for one day and feared the self introspection of meditation.  Silly brain.

So, I coddled myself instead of healed and soothed, due to an interesting, still not quite understood communication.  And even know I haven't meditated.  I have done a long of busy work, cleaned up & sorted.  But the spiritual has taken a back road.

Interestingly enough, the internet went down also yesterday.  Talk about communication issues.

There was no reading today (see the busy work paragraph) and tomorrow is the full  moon.  But I'll be back in touch with you soon.

I hope you have a great day!

-Lila

121013 AnsazR

Communication may be interesting today.  Clarify, breathe, and start over if you need to.

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Well, the amusing thing about that reading is -  I was doing the video recording, and I did, in fact, have to start over as I was unable to string words together coherently in the first take.

But the other way it applied to me this past day is through shopping.

Clothes shopping to be precise.

I am a bookkeeper because I love numbers.  And in bookkeeping (or any math, as far as I know), 1 equals 1 equals 1.  Always and forever.  Calculus may do all sorts of funky things to the number 1, or 2 or 47, but the number itself never loses its meaning.  1 is always 1.

Until you get to clothes.  (and shoes.)   First, you have to qualify what "age" group you're talking about.  A size 1 in infants is different from a 1 in toddlers which is different from a 1 in kids which is different from a size 1 in Juniors which is a different than the 1 in General which is different from a size 1 in Women's.  (And of course all of these are different from the male size 1.)

After you find the appropriate "age", you then get to explore different brands.  And yes, Merano's size 1 is different from Mossimo.  Vera Wang is different from Apt 9.  Wranglers is different from Levi's.  Or, since I was looking at underwear, Hanes is different from Fruit of the Loom which is different from Bali which is different from...

Now, let me share something really fun with you.  Just within one brand the sizes were different in different styles!  - the Med size for hipsters was NOT the same as the Med size for boy shorts.  Grrr.  ARRRGH.

So, my communication issues had to do with me trying to figure out the communication system of intimates.  And I did guess incorrectly.  I'll be taking them back and trying again.

Though probably not tomorrow.   I was so traumatized by the experience (she types with an eye roll, but she really means it) I never did get to today's rune reading.  So look for me not tomorrow.  (Unless you aren't reading this today.  Then tomorrow changes.  Unlike the numbers.)

I hope you have a great day!

-Lila