Today is a good day to focus less on how your income flows in and more on how you use it to make yourself happy.
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For me, Fehu this time was less about the actual financial income than it was about the energy. The difference in the feel of energy when I purchase something for myself versus the feel when I allow someone else to purchase it for me. Specifically, this weekend, it seemed to be about food.
Food is essential. One of the "Basic Needs". Food is very symbolic: breaking bread; the bread winner; bringing home the bacon; the hunter. So when someone pays for another's meal, it is, in effect, receiving the food from the payer's hand.
I was one of those persons who insisted on paying for everyone, if possible. Often I felt this made up for not remembering birthdays or other holidays. So the intention was truly to gift. But... when someone receives a gift they do not want, it can feel more like a burden or an obligation. And, in the case of allowing someone to purchase food for you, it can feel like giving away your power.
As I have been required to keep a closer eye on my finances (and have turned from financial gifts to energetic ones), so it is time to start looking at how I feel about receiving certain gifts. When I go out with someone, am I happier paying for half, allowing them to pay for the whole meal, or each paying for their specific expenses? Does it depend on the person, on the circumstances, on my mood? Does it need to be spelled out beforehand, if only to myself? What is going to make me happy? Because eating food someone else provided while resenting that they provided it makes the meal sour.
Maybe part of it is being in tune with how the other person feels about purchasing/ receiving. Is it an expectation, based on past practices, and thus feels more like an obligation and less like a gift? Are they truly giving, or just doing what has become, in effect, their job?
I haven't quite worked it out yet. Even now, a few days later. I think I'd forgotten how symbolic food really is. Something to continue pondering.
I hope you have a great day!
-Lila
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