A good day to practice balance between spiritual & physical, as more harvest comes in. Celebrate with moderation, and allow this harvest to propel you further along your path, instead of into old habits.
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Today, many things happened that could be considered the effects of previous causes, but I would say the main example of harvest today, for me, was a surplus of energy.
It has, for me, been a very hard working year. A lot of energy has been used for myself personally, for situations around me, for others. Energy being what it is, it's not always easy to pinpoint exactly where we're using it or how effective the use is.
But it is becoming obvious (to me) that I do not need to be expending as much energy these days as I used to. So I find myself, suddenly, with an excess.
With this energy comes a buoyant feeling of good will, exuberance, joy, bubbles! Which is very nice. Certainly a lighter weight than I have been feeling. Sadly, the extra energy can sometimes create a wave of erratic, possibly manic, behavior. For example, exuberance when driving can turn to frustration, and then a desire to play monster truck with the people in the left hand lane who are going ten miles under the speed limit!
(inhale. exhale. move on.)
I did not like the way I was feeling when I arrived home. And that, that is not a harvest I desire.
Happily, some of my other skills, things I have been practicing, kicked into gear. I took a deep breath, stepped back, accepted my behavior and moved on.
For me, moving on meant first, to be productive. And then, to do some energy work to heal any harm that might have been done. And when my brain just couldn't operate anymore, I did turn to old habits of eating and watching movies.
Happily, my other major harvest for the year is you. Because of you, I examined my day again, prepared to flog myself publicly for my terrible actions ( being energetic and a little too gleeful; mentally blowing up vehicles, turning to old habits) Since fail isn't in my vocabulary, I was trying to find ways to say I'd failed without actually using the word.
But there was no failure. There was only the same thing there is every day. Choices were made. Results were accepted. And I am here, at the end of the day, feeling happy, because of you.
I now know I need to work on my awareness of how much energy is flowing versus how much I am using. No sense lighting my votive candle with a dragon -- oh, it could be fun, (insert evil laugh here) but it'll probably be messy; and it will effect people who had nothing to do with either candle or dragon. Or even the desire to have light.
And I know I still turn to food and mindlessness for escape. But since I had celery & peanut butter instead of cake & frosting, I am going to give myself a star.
And I know I still have a tendency to focus on the problem side of the issue. But, I also have you, to whom I must admit my progress as well as my recurring weaknesses.
So thank you, You. For being part of my harvest. And helping me replace old unhappy habits with new, happy ones.
I hope you have a great day!
-Lila
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