Thursday, April 9, 2015

LIR 4815 Isa & EihwazR

Isa - What is the truth of the situation, the problem, the project, the feeling? Without attaching past experiences or future possibilities, what is the NOW?

EihwazR - And what can be melded easily without needing a bridge, a middleman, a conductor? Is there some extra work involved that's unnecessary?

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I became fixated yesterday on the middle man part - trying to cut out extra work and all those fiddly moments of worry that add so much burden to otherwise simple tasks. (like phone calls. Or answering emails.) Unfortunately, I feel I cut out parts which would have been helpful - like looking over my notes before filming a video class. Ah well.

As for Isa, for me it was more a day of grateful isolation. I accomplished so much, and most of it was easy. 

However, "What is the Now," is a very tricky question. In that it's so simple I want to make it more difficult. It's so tempting to add stories to it. To bring in the past, to compare now to what I want in the future.

Moments change. Truths change. Heck, in my A Capella group, some of my notes were changed because I couldn't reach them consistently. From moment to moment.

It just feels difficult sometimes, when the answers aren't evident, when the truth is something I didn't expect or, worse, goes against my reality.

Blah. Whatever. Seriously. That was then. Now is different. Somehow I made it past the tears I didn't understand, and stopped the video tape of scenarios in my head. Practice pays off. I am glad I allowed the tears of the moment, gave them their space, and then moved on. No repression, no embarrassment. Just acceptance and release.

And then pudding. So that was good.

I hope you had a great day!
-Lila

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