Today, #EihwazR is off the cloth. (ps, this means it physically rolled to a place off of the reading cloth - specifically, upper left).
You may be dealing with the fear that fulfilling today's needs will deprive others, perhaps your future self. Is it really concern, or is it guilt? Choose based on what you can live with, not someone else's opinion.
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As is often the case, when I'm in a tearing hurry and hoping for a quick read, something really complicated arrives instead. The universe loves me. (Well, it does.)
Eihwaz is a complex rune in and of itself, being as it balances between two worlds, chooses between now and then. And being off the cloth meant it wasn't a definite force or situation, so much as a fear. Or a hope. An intangible reality.
In the contrary way of the universe, in my perception these intangibles are much more helpful than the tangibles.
We have been doing a lot of practice with choosing -- what makes us happy for the moment? What feels like our truth? First we explored what we really desired; then we worked on maintaining those desires regardless of outside approval or disdain; then we worked on showing others, or helping others. (and yes, if I go back over the daily progression, it probably wasn't as clear cut as that, but that's how it feels to me.) We learn, we practice, we teach.
So now. Now we are looking at the next layer. The why.
Sitting in a picture window smelling incense makes you happy. Why?
The energy of screaming children is preferable to classical music. Why?
The intangibles can help us see this, the hidden or underlying fears and hopes.
Today, that intangible was the wrestling between now and then, or us and them. The haves and the have nots.
And sometimes choice is enough to freeze your decision making. It's not just, "if I buy a coat today, will I have enough for shoes tomorrow?"
It's not even just, "If I buy a coat today, I'll have to buy something for my friend, and then I won't have enough for shoes tomorrow."
It's also the "How can I buy a coat today, if my friend can't afford the same kind of coat I want to buy?"
There's also the opposite effect. "Ooh. I must buy this coat today. And those shoes. And buy something for my friend. Coats for everyone! Because we may not have it tomorrow!"
Both are extreme examples, but the real and only question is, what makes you happy? Even if it is guilt that drives you? Or fear. Or extreme selfishness. Or exuberance. What makes you happy?
Today, I had the opportunity to pay off a debt or two. And I wanted to pay off as many as I could. That made me happy. Exuberant. Release from the subtle (or not so subtle, in some cases) pressure of "Owing" someone. And yes, I was aware that part of me thought, "I need to do this today, because I might not want to do it tomorrow. Tomorrow I might want the coat!"
Shrug. I did what I could. And I was happy. I choice, fully conscious of the motives underneath the manic actions. Tomorrow's coat, well, that's for tomorrow.
I hope you have a great day.
-Lila
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