LIR Taurus 2015 - LaguzR & SoweloR (as seen in newsletter)

Yup, another month where it feels like nothing is going to take off, nothing is going to move forward. Where is the rush, the excitement? Where is the freak out? If I don't take off, how can I succeed?

Chill! The time of Taurus is a time of slow, methodical work. With the changes and fluctuations of spring, it is an excellent time to check every step, have your foundations secure, be mindful of your practice and your truths. This is not a time for quick changes.

Perhaps there won't ever be a huge, explosive take off. Or at least, it won't feel like that. After all, we have been working to be sure of our truths, knowing that everything is practice. This makes every moment THE moment, and every moment no big deal. We may never feel those opening nights jitters because every new thing gives us a little jitter, and we're so focused on practicing, we'll find we're safely and happily ensconced in a thriving situation without even realizing we've become "successful" or even "launched".

And yes, we may be afraid we're on the wrong track, following the wrong dream, NEVER going to find the rainbow. We've been holding onto belief for so long, we're almost used to not having the actual manifestation.

But perhaps that's the way things work these days, after all the transitions and storms. A slow and methodical growth. A quiet presence. Hard work and belief and being willing to believe in the dream. Because if you're like me, it may not feel like a successful game all the time, but it's still the only game I'm willing to play. So, I'll keep playing. Slow and steady.

LaguzR - no big rush this month. SoweloR - the fear (or hope) of lack of success.

Release the barely hidden fear; unless you want the project to be put to bed, the only thing the fear will do is distract you. There is no explosive birth of your project, relationship, situation. And that's a good thing. Success comes not from the way a dream is launched upon the world, but from the energy & truth put into the project.

I think I can handle that. What about you?

I hope you have a great moon!

-Lila

112613 - SoweloR

some goals haven't been reached yet and it may feel like you've been trudging forever.  A distraction or a different perspective may help rejuvenate your sense of purpose.

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the thing that sticks out most as feeling like the "unreachable goal" is my body shape.

disclaimer here: as long as a person is happy with their lifestyle, let them be whatever shape they desire, wear what they want, and let no insecure gossip monger dare to say otherwise.  (unless it's a child.  But that falls under the whole responsibility toward others umbrella and is a very tricky, tangled subject.)  So sayeth I.

I am happy with my lifestyle, especially as food has been a main source of comfort in my life and I have never felt inclined to many physical activities.  But, I am not happy with the shape I have because, when I look in the mirror, I do not see what I feel.  Therefore I am determined to change my shape.  

In the past two weeks I have increased my physical activity.  I even (speak softly) do crunches in the morning.  And yes, every time I squeeze my upper body up off the matt, I feel a little like I'm betraying my people - the happy, comfortable, non-exercising people.  But, I can see no other way to achieve the shape I desire.  Surgery is scary, and wishing hasn't worked - except to change some of my tastes, my attention to what I eat, and my desire to actually do something.

So I have been doing some exercises.  And actually feeling a like my goal was achievable.  Then yesterday, I put on a fun outfit, looked in the mirror, and just wanted to cry.  I knew the bulge was because of food choices in the last few days -- or I assume it was.

The worst part was, yesterday was a day of dining out.  So the taste buds warred with the memory of myself in the mirror.  I don't know if anyone won, yesterday.

At least I have a little more practice in knowing what I don't want to eat when I feel that way about my body.  And more knowledge of my patterns in certain situations.

Because yesterday's distraction was shoes.  I went shopping for a particular type of boot.  I had my usual problem meshing visually pleasing with desired purpose and good fit.  In wandering up and down the aisles between sizes, I found a pair of boots that was cute and functional and perfect! except they weren't what I was shopping for.

I did manage to talk myself out of a panic/ frustration attack and I did achieve my objective by compromising .  I have a few ideas in mind for when I next go shoe shopping - about how to make it easier on myself.

And I did reward myself by purchasing the perfect boots.  And then I came home and realized they were a size too big. So I geared myself up and went back to the store (returning things is also not easy for me) and I not only found them in a better size, I found them in two colors.

And so I rewarded myself with something fun to consume when I went out to dinner.  (A gingerbread shake. Wow!)  But I think I would have been happiest if I'd left it at that, and not consumed anything else at the restaurant.

And so, in conclusion, yesterday it did feel like I may never reach my desired shape.  But I learned a few more things about myself and my reactions; and this morning I did the crunches yet again.  So.  Yay me.

I hope you have a great day!

-Lila

91813

Today is not Eureka day.  Sigh.  Even if the question is answered we might feel there is more to know.  So be it.  Breathe and let it go.  The mind often works best under cover.

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Hmm.  That came as a surprise.

I have been working on trying to write a formula in excel for the 2 days before today.  With "today is not a Eureka! day", I just decided not to waste my time trying again.  Let it sit and see if the answer comes the next time I play with it.  Yay!

Instead, I spent a very productive day getting all my chores out of the way so I could have some time for meditation and celebration tomorrow.

And now, the health of someone else decrees my time will most likely be spent focused outside of myself tomorrow.

Does this have anything to do with the reading?  Does the reading cover this?  The rune was Sowelo R, in air.  
      >Sowelo = success; R is lack of success.  I succeeded in doing all my chores.
      > air = communication, thinking.  I may not have all the meditating time I wanted, but that's tomorrow.  (but I found out tonite.  So that is a goal unfulfilled.)  But that is not necessarily a success or lack there of; my time was cleared.  My actions fulfilled my intentions.  Outside forces and responsibilities to others changed the plans for tomorrow.
    >and if the health requires a dr's visit, there may be plenty of time for meditation in the waiting room. *wry grin*

So.  Though this event is a surprise, I don't know if it's related to the reading.  Should the reading have "warned" me?  Well, no.  The question is general.  "What does the universe want US to know today?"

Besides, this event relied on the choices of others.  Such a decision (to deal with dis-ease) may not have been made, or perhaps confirmed, until right before I was informed.

 Ah well.  Looking back on today, I am glad for all the hard work and by tomorrow I will be grateful for the lack of conflicts.

Hope you had a great day!
-L