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It's time to stop depending on outside sources for emotional validation.  *Some mysterious stranger isn't going to complete me.  I complete me.

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I may complete me, but I could sometimes wish for someone to at least drop the answer in my lap!  Or maybe a hint that involves more than 4 hours of...

Well, I was going to say time wasted, but obviously it wasn't wasted.  I learned more about myself today, and what I want.

I learned there are some things I just can't seem to do easily; formatting and uploading a document to become an ebook seems to be one of those things.  Every time I try, it takes hours to complete, or my computer dies.  Or, as was today's case, nothing happens.  (well, except I curbed an urge to reach energetically through the computer screen and "assist" the customer service rep in understanding my issue.)  

However, uploading documents, attractive web pages, and other things "e-tastic" are a necessary part of my ultimate goal (to sell books).  So, the solution that makes sense is to ask for help.  find help.  Accept help.

So, isn't that depending on an outside source?  In order to get my work validated (ie published!)  

Or did it simply mean the internet wouldn't be helpful today?  Or that the customer service couldn't help me?  Or that my emotional security is not reliant upon the end product of my work?

But in the end, after all the drama, trauma and frustration, it does come to the point.  I am the only person who can make me feel good about myself and about what I have or have not accomplished today.  I am the only person who can ride through the emotional backlash.  I am my own hero.

Yay me!

I hope you have great day.

-Lila