LIR 82014 - Othila off the mat

Today’s choice(s) might be influenced by the hope or fear you are just like your [mother, father, grandparent, Great Cousin, insert ancestral connection here.]

The similarity is irrelevant. Are You Happy with the trait? 

Accept & adapt, practice ‘til the answer is yes, & move forward.

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The day this was cast, I had an appointment with a voice therapist.  As far as I know, there are no voice issues in my genetic history, except the sinus thing.  (A history of women having kleenexes or hankies nearby could be a genetic issue.)  But vocally, there were no guidelines to fear or follow, so I paid no further heed to the rune.  

But today I had a thought.

Othila is off the mat.  You could say hidden.  Or in the subconscious.  Things we're not aware of, or only partially aware of like a habit we've been trained into, or an ingrained belief, or a latent gene for hazel eyes.   Something which, once it's brought to the attention, we say "Oh, yeah.  I knew that."

The world often works the same way.  Every day we receive input, from friends and family, from connections and teachers, from complete strangers and co-workers, from self-help books and Hallmark specials and entertainment.  Often, a little nugget sticks with us, like a germ, sure.  Or like a puzzle piece.  Or like a piece of jewelry which is "...nice, I like it, but I really don't want to wear it right now."  

And away it goes, tucked into the back of the jewelry box, put on the side of the puzzle, filed for later review.

Every once in awhile, someone will mention the nugget, or you finally have an outfit or project or space which might work, and you pull it out.   But it's not quite the way you remembered.  And the colors don't match, the shape is wrong, the reference is to something else.  So you put the little nugget away again.   

Then one day, one day that will always feel a little brighter, a little shinier in your memory, you stop whatever you're doing.  You reach for that piece of puzzle, that jewelry, that file folder, confidently, purposefully.  It works perfectly with your situation.  Meant to be.  Why did you bother trying all those other ways?  This is obviously where/how it belongs.

In a Robert Heinlein book, Number of the Beast, one of the characters is a computer programmer.  A phrase she often uses to the computer is, "I tell you three times."  It's a way to lock in the information or programming, to say "Yes, this is actually where the puzzle piece goes."

Most humans are like that, about at least one area in our lives.  We have to be told three times.  We receive the information.  We tuck it into our data banks to process and it gets bogged down with all the minutiae, or shelved in the wrong file, or it just doesn't compute at the time.  Then we hear the information again, and rethink and reclassify.  We still like what we have, we're still connected to it, but it doesn't fit into the life, into the thought pattern, into the perception or the experience.

Until,finally, one day it does.  It's like angels singing and the spotlight shining.  "I've never seen it in that light."  "Why didn't I realize that's where it goes?"  "Oh!  That's what that means." "Light Bulb!"*

And that actually did apply to the voice therapy, for me.  Things I had been told about breath and breathing by: my mother; an energy worker; a warrior; a voice teacher; myself; a physical trainer; and by various books and movies, all coalesced into one bright shiny moment of understanding.  Each had spoken in a different way, at various different times in my life, and each had been modeling a different situation.  And in the therapist's office, all those nuggets sucked together in one literal big gasp of "oh!" **

And here's the most important bit, to me.  Whether it's a trait you want or advice you don't, whatever is lingering in your subconsious, even when the "ah ha!" moment arrives, even when the angels sing and the confetti falls, even when people shout "I told you!" in your ear - you, we, still get to choose what we do with that information.  Because the jewelry may go beautifully with that shirt, but what if you really hate the shirt? 

Your truth, your choice.

Look ma!  Footnotes:

*    Gru, Despicable Me, Despicable Me 2, Universal Studios

**  okay - actually, it was a realization, an exhalation of "oh!", then a big gasp of air.  So semi-literally.

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  I did not pull a rune today, as my head is already buzzing with thoughts to ponder.  So instead, I will be posting a blog tomorrow - which may be in a new blog called "what I need to learn" on the following advice, topic, question:

Keep on Course

I have my own way of moving forward.  My own speed, my own style, my own mode of transportation.  If I allow the traffic, the peer pressure, the movement of others to be the guiding force in my life, I will forget how to do things my way.

I will LOSE my way.

I like my way.  I think I’ll keep it.  How about you?

I hope you have a great day, your way!

-Lila